I AM WILDCAT: Welcome to FNaF
by PeopleOfTheInternet
Summary: Wildcat vs FNaF. This story takes place in FNaF 2. Enjoy Wildcat humor colliding with FNaF horror. RATED T: Cursing, Drug Usage/References.
1. Where Dreams Come True

_**Time: 5:00 AM**_

_**PLACE: Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria**_

**I AM WILDCAT enters the restaurant. He watches as the children stare at his pig mask. He grins on the inside.**

Wildcat: "What the hell you staring at? Is something wrong with my face or something? I see you eating that pizza; you know what that pepperoni is made of?"

**The kids nod no, Wildcat then gets up into one of the kids face.**

Wildcat: "Bitch you eating my family! What do you have to say about that? That was probably Grandma Piggy, and you ate her you asshole!"

**The child starts to tear up, and with Wildcat feeling a bit bad for making the kid cry. After all, he was only joking…**

Wildcat: "Hey kid, I didn't mean that… that was probably Uncle Oink. He was a fat ass piggy. He fucking deserved it."

**The child begins to whip his tears away, and begins to giggle. Wildcat smiles at the kid, and give the kid a pig mask. The kid puts it on, gives Wildcat a hug, and leaves to go show the others.**

Wildcat: "Now, where the fuck is that bitchass manager? Told me he was here today."

**Wildcat looks around and notices an employee walk out of the office, shaking his head. Wildcat walks up to the guy and taps his shoulder, only to be screamed at.**

?: "DON'T KILL ME PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO BE STUFFED INTO A SUIT! Not today man, not today!"

Wildcat: "Chill out bro, the hell is wrong with you? Someone give you weed or something?"

?: "Oh, I'm so, so sorry. It's just the last couple of nights has been tough. The names Jeremy Fitzgerald, I'm the night guard… well, used to be."

Wildcat: "Well Jeremy, the name is I AM WILDCAT, but you can call me Tyler if you want. I just got your job and wanted to know what do I do exactly?"

Jeremy: "Well Tyler, you just made a very poor career choice. If you make it out alive, you're lucky. There's a phone message from the guy before me. Think his name was Scott… Cawthon I think? Anyway, he'll tell you everything you need to know."

Wildcat: "Okay. But why were you so shaky? Looked like you just saw a puppy get ran over."

Jeremy: "Like I said, you'll see. And once you do, you'll wish you never took this job like I do. Now, I have to go, it was nice… knowing you."

**Jeremy shakes Wildcats hand and opens the exit door, but before he does he turns and says:**

Jeremy: "Oh, and Tyler! Remember…"

Wildcat: "Remember what?"

Jeremy: "Remember to wind up the music box…"

**Jeremy leaves the building, with Wildcat standing by quietly. A ball whacks him the head, making him come back into the real world.**

Wildcat: "Fucking crazy son of a bitch. Betcha he did drugs. Hope he left some for me!"

**Wildcat then goes into the office and takes a good look... and sniff.**

Wildcat: "Yep... I know he did weed now... oh wait thats the pizza. I think I might get me some!"

**Wildcat leaves the office and gets himself a piece of pizza. He sits down on the office chair, nibbling on his pizza. He checks the clock and gasps.**

"Holy shit! That clock is fucking epic! What time is it? 11:56!? Holy shit, time flies by quick! Better get ready!"

_**Yes Wildcat, get ready. READY FOR FREDDY THAT IS! And while he's doing that, I'm going to take a break. I hope you enjoy and follow this story. Goodbye, and have a nice time!**_


	2. Are You Ready For Freddy, Wildcat?

_**TIME: 12:00**_

_**Place: Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria- Office**_

**Wildcat sits down into his chair, ready for his first night. The phone blinks red, indicating a message. Wildcat clicks the button, and listens to the message, which lasts what seemed 2 hours.**

Wildcat: "Shit, my head. He talked so long I don't even remember half of it. All I heard was suits, music box, and roaming animatronics. I can tell this will be a LONG night."

**Wildcat pulls up the cameras, switching to the stage. **

Wildcat: "Let's see, we got a bear, a rabbit, and a chicken. I'm guessing the bear is… Freddy. He looks like a bitch. The rabbit is Bonnie, and he looks like a pedophile. And we got Chica, a chicken… with boobs. Like really? What the fuck is this shit? A chicken with boobs, my dad has bigger boobs than that! What was this company thinking?"

**Wildcat switches to the Kids Cove, and hears… a radio? Annoyed by the sound, he goes to the prize corner and winds up the music box.**

Wildcat: "Wait, what happens if I don't wind this music box up? Will I get a surprise or something? I love surprises…"

**Wildcat changes back to the stage, and gasps at the sight of Bonnie missing.**

Wildcat: "Oh shit, the pedo is gone. Damn, he must saw a child and went to go rape him. Better find him before that happens!"

**Wildcat switches cameras to the party rooms, finding Bonnie staring at him.**

Wildcat: "Oh, there you are pedo rabbit. What the fuck are you looking at me for? I'll come into that room and shove that guitar up your ass!"

**After taunting Bonnie for a couple minutes, Wildcat switches to the stage again. He notices Chica gone, and goes on a desperate search, finding her near the bathrooms.**

Wildcat: "Oh, there you are small boobed robot chicken thing. Where did your beak and eyes go? And why are you near the bathrooms? Are you pregnant? I hope not, because I don't want another thing trying to kill me!"

**Wildcat notices a flashing yellow warning sign on his camera. He switches to the prize corner to wind up the music box, and then switches back to the stage room. Freddy was gone as well.**

Wildcat: "Are you fucking kidding me? Now I got 3… wait scratch that, 4 things to watch. You know what? I hope you guys come in here, so I can shove this tablet up your ass and then I'm going to rip you apart and shove those up your ass as well…"

**Wildcat stops. What he hears makes his heart stop. A deep breathing sound is heard from his position. He checks the hallway and sees Chica stand with a cupcake.**

Wildcat: "Is that cupcake for me? Well, get over here and hand it here!"

Chica: *Stares*

Wildcat: "Well bitch? Give me the damn cupcake before I starve, you lazy ass bitch!"

**Wildcat then hears a metal bang from his right. He checks the right vent and sees Bonnie.**

Wildcat: "Hello pedo bunny! I hope you enjoy your life, because you are not going to rape me. So please stay there!"

**Flashing the light at Bonnie, he looks back into the hallway. Instead of Chica, Freddy has taken her place.**

Wildcat: "Hello Fazfuck, enjoying the pizza? I hope you are, because that is all you're going to get. Wait, what the fuck was that noise?"

**Wildcat checks the left vent, finding Chica in it. He growls, annoyed by the animatronics.**

Wildcat: "I'm sick and tired of you AWAY PLEASE! Do you speak or anything? Wait a minute, didn't the guy one the phone say something about a mask? Well, I got a mask on, but I guess I'll put this one on."

**Wildcat places the head on, and all the animatronics come into the office looking around… checking for the human. After a while, they leave with Wildcat scared as hell.**

Wildcat: "What the fuck was that all about? I hope this ends now!"

**A heavy ring is heard, showing that 6:00 has arrived.**

Wildcat: "Finally, that was fucking stupid. Pedo bunny, small boobed chicken, and a gay looking bear. Can't get worse than that!"

**Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I stayed up a couple hours for this, but I made it as funny as possible! Stay tuned for more!**


	3. Night 2 Prolog

_**Prolog of 2**__**nd**__** Night**_

**Time: 8:00 AM**

**Place: Wildcats house**

_**Wildcat has entered his house, still trying to figure out what just happened at the restraint. He gets on his computer and goes onto his Facebook account, posting about his horrific night at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. He gets about 49 likes and a couple of comments. One however was from Jeremy.**_

_**Comment: "Told you Tyler, you shouldn't have taken that job. You can't quit, you're stuck there for 4 more nights. I wish I never took the job, my sanity has gone and now I'm stuck here at home afraid that those… things are coming to kill me. But remember, if you EVER get the chance; check the Parts/Service room. The old ones are in there, they move as well but only on the 3**__**rd**__** to 5**__**th**__** night. Foxy may appear tonight as well, and you might notice the newer animatronics will slowly start to become less aggressive. Why is something I don't know. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed living. It might be your last night.**_

Wildcat: "The fuck bruh? Now I got to deal with more? Stupid ass company, their cheap as fuck. Can't they just have a separate room for them and place them in there that way NOBODY gets hurt?"

**Wildcat gets up, and goes to sleep in his bed. In his dreams, he sees an old restraint with what seems like a golden bear giving children cake. Outside a lone child is crying. He watches as a car pulls up, and then stops beside the crying child. A purple man gets out, goes up to the small child giving the boy a piece of cake. The child stops crying, and eats the cake. The man smiles as the child began to choke, reaching out for help. The man slaps the child's hand down, and gets back into the car, driving off into the highway. The child stops moving, dead from the lack of oxygen. Wildcat begins to cry, horrified at the scene. He wakes up with tears in his eyes and puts his hands on his head.**

Wildcat: "The fuck man, what was that? That was the saddest thing I've ever seen. I don't want to go back to that fucked up restaurant."

**Wildcat checks the clock, the time is 10:00 AM**.

Wildcat: "I might as well, no point of stopping here. I need the money. Now I need to get… ready for Freddy."

_**TIME LAPSE TO 11:00 AM**_

**Place: Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria**

**Wildcat enters the restaurant, getting another stare from the children. He sees the child he gave the mask to, waving. He waves weakly back, knowing he might not see the child again. Wildcat sit down in the office chair, waiting for the night to approach. The manager walks in, seeing Wildcat siting motionless.**

Manager: "Ah, there you are! I see you made it through the 1st night perfectly! I didn't get the chance to meet you yesterday; I was going to tell you…

Wildcat: "Tell me WHAT?! That these things are trying to kill me? I'm pretty sure I don't need to die anytime soon! You just can't place them a position where they don't move?"

Manager: "Um, I'm sorry Tyler if I may call you that, but we're on a budget and we can't really do much about them moving. Their servos might lock up if they stand still too long, and we really can't have that happen can't we?"

Wildcat: "Servos locking up, my god you're stupid as shit. You really care NOTHING about my life do you? All you care about is money!"

Manager: "I'm sorry Tyler! But it's all I can do for now, can we please talk about this tomorrow please? People are staring at us…"

Wildcat: "You're lucky I don't kick your ass right now. Hell, you're lucky I don't call the cops on you! You're such a pansy…"

**The manager leaves the office, leaving Wildcat pissed off and wishing he had just stayed home.**

Wildcat: "Now, I need to wait for the night to approach. After tonight, I'm done. Wait, don't I have 4 more nights? Uggg, I don't want to do this anymore, but if I don't I'll get arrested. Shit, I'm such a dumbass."

**Wildcat takes a nap, waiting for the night to arrive. He see's flashes of the man and child he saw in his dream, trying to figure out what it meant.**

_**This was the prolog for the next chapter, which will have Foxy, Balloon Boy, and the toys in action. I hope you enjoyed the story so far, because it's going to be about 7 more chapters more, plus Wildcat returns years later for the restaurant in FNaF 1.**_


	4. The Joy of Creation

_**Night 2 has begun…**_

_**TIME: 12:00**_

_**Place: Do I need to explain? Read the previous chapter…**_

**The phone rings. Wildcat jumps up from his seat, engaged in his Fight or Flight mode. He rubs his eyes, yawns, and presses the button on phone. He listens to the message, which told him he needed to watch out for Foxy, and how he needs to remember to wind the music box up.**

Wildcat: "So, now what? Do I do the same thing or what? Don't I deserve a prize for making it this far or something?"

**Wildcat pulls up his camera, checking the stage. Wildcat groans, seeing that everyone is gone. He goes to the Prize Counter, winds the box, and checks the Parts/Service room… receiving the prize he wanted. Foxy is standing up, looking at the ground.**

Wildcat: "That's a fox? Looks like a raccoon to me. I hate raccoons. If he comes in here, I will literally grab this chair and smash him into the ground…

**Wildcat props his feet on the desk and checks the hallway, then the cameras for the Toys…**

Wildcat: "Okay, there's Pedo Bunny, Freddy Fazfuck, and Small Boob Chica. Wait, if there are 4 old guys, where's the 4th new one? Don't tell me the…"

**Wildcat is cut off by radio interference. He checks the hallway and see's Mangle. He laughs.**

Wildcat: "Well, hey there! You look stupid as fuck! You must be the 4th animatronic, what were you called? Mangle? Seems perfect for you! You look like someone ran over you twice then placed you in a catapult and launched you into a brick wall! Well, might as well get rid of you…"

**Wildcat places on the mask, and watches the toys search once more for him. He gasps at the sight. After they leave, he takes off the mask.**

Wildcat: "Holy shit, they were all here? Thank god I placed on the mask when I did, or I'd be fucked up like Mangle!"

**He checks the cameras again, watching the toys move back to the stage. He goes to the Prize Corner winding up the music box. He hears the most cruel thing in the world, the sound of "You are fucked". He hears a laugh. Wildcat puts down the camera, watching Balloon Boy play with the flashlight batteries.**

Wildcat: "You little shit! I will fucking end you! If I make it through this, I'm placing you on a rope upside down!"

**Wildcat reaches for Balloon Boy, when he hears an ear deafening squeal from the Hallway. He looks up, and sees sparks come closer towards him. He realizes Foxy is coming towards him, ready for the kill. Foxy begins to run, straight towards Wildcat.**

Wildcat: "Come on you stupid raccoon! I'll end you right now!"

**Foxy lunges at Wildcat, who grabs the chair and slams Foxy down into the ground. Wildcat keeps whacking Foxy with the chair, then golf clubs him into the Hallway. He looks back at Balloon Boy.**

Wildcat: "You see that raccoon? He had to be brought down…"

**Balloon Boy then waddles out of the office and into the arcade center.**

Wildcat: "What? He came right for me you little bitch."

**Wildcat was about to sit down when the clock rings. 6:00 has arrived. Wildcat sighs, knowing he has lived. He kicks open the door, when he sees a horrific sight. 5 children standing in front of him, eyes gouged out and bloody. He backs up, looks up and sees the face he saw in his nightmare. The purple man with a knife in hand, smiling at the children. The man looks at Wildcat.**

The Purple Man: "I used to be like you, a job and all. Then I saw the perfect moment to rid the world of an annoying child. I hope these guys here don't get to you tomorrow night. In the meantime, sleep well."

**The man and children disappear, and left in their place are the words: "IT'S ME, IT'S ME, IT'S ME. It was me all along…"**

**Wildcat, stunned by the scene, walks towards his car. He drives home, goes inside, and gets into bed… falling asleep instantly. He has another dream. This time, The Puppet is walking around with 4 presents in hands. Around the Puppet are 4 dead children, each looking like the children he saw with the man. The Puppet walks around, giving the dead children a present… a suit of each animatronic. After this, the Puppet looks at what he has done.**

The Puppet: "They will know the joy of creation…"

**The Puppet walks around, placing the final piece of the suits onto the children… the heads. The suits flicker on, get up, and walk out. However, Freddy stays behind. Freddy is looking at the floor, at a 5****th**** child. Freddy grabs the child, and brings him into the Prize Corner. He opens a present, and in it was a golden bear. Freddy places the child into Golden Freddy, and leaves. Wildcat hears a child giggle, and then nothing. The nightmare ends…**


	5. Survival of the Fittest

_**It's here. IT'S DONE. IT'S NEW. Can you take your eyes off of it? YOU CAN'T.**_

**Wildcat entered the office with his flashlight, quietly sitting down as he waited for hell to arrive.**

"Shit man, how can anyone do this god awful job for 5 nights? Seems like a rip-off to me!" Wildcat thought as he listened to the 3rd message.

_box, he hears that deep breathing sound. He groans as he flicks the flashlight into the hallway. Foxy, once again, is standing in it._

"Fuck you, fuck your friends, and fuck this pizzeria. I'm sick of this shit." Wildcat said flipping off Foxy.

_Foxy backs up out of the hallway to reset his sensors. Wildcat quickly winds up the box, and checks the Parts/Service room. Bonnie and Chica were missing._

"Oh, come on! I just want to get a break you assholes!" Wildcat whined.

_Wildcat quickly looks up at the hallway, flashing his light. Bonnie stands right there…_

"Oh my fucking god, what the hell happened to your face?" Wildcat said taking a picture of Bonnie. "This is why you don't smoke. Your fucking face rots away!"

_Wildcats flashlight goes out for a second and out of nowhere Foxy stands next to Bonnie. _

"Man, this is some bullshit! I thought I knocked you into next week you fucking raccoon!" Wildcat yelled.

_Wildcat used his flashlight, blinding them. Foxy stepped back, tripping over Bonnie's foot._

"That's what you get you stupid raccoon!" Wildcat yelled. "Now I got to get rid of the over-dose rabbit."

_Wildcat flashed Bonnie a couple of times, waiting for him to leave. Suddenly, the flashlight began to flicker._

"Shit! Don't go out on me, not now!" Wildcat yelled.

_The light flickered on for a second, and then died._

"Shit." Wildcat whispered. "Now I'm going to be just like the flashlight, DEAD."

_Wildcat shaked at the sound of movement in the vents, and he waited for the sound of the clock hitting 6:00._

"Dear lord and savior Freddy Fazbear, please allow me to live through the night!" Wildcat said.

_Wildcat began crying, and then… the bell went off. 6:00 arrived. Wildcat whipped the tears off his eyes and laughed._

"No way, no fucking way! I can't believe it!" Wildcat got out of his chair laughing. He past the party rooms, the bathrooms, and went into the stage room. He stopped laughing… the clock on the stage room wall… said 5:10.

"Fuck me…" Wildcat whispered.

_Wildcat began shaking as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around, meeting face to face the old Freddy Fazbear. Wildcat ran for his life, and went back into the office flashing his flashlight everywhere._

"I'm so fucked! I'm so FUCKED!" Wildcat yelled

_The flashlight flickered, and then died. Wildcat began hyperventilating._

"No, no, no, no! Don't fucking die on me!" Wildcat said smacking the flashlight against his hand.

_Wildcat looked up as Foxy divided at him. Wildcat dodged Foxy, screaming his head off. Wildcat went into the vents, trying to escape the fox. Wildcat got to the other side, meeting old Chica. He dodged her attack, and ran around her and into the bathrooms._

"I-I-I don't know what to do! I'm so fucking scared man!" Wildcat said to himself.

_Wildcat pulled out his phone, and texted Jeremy about the situation._

"_Jeremy! I'm in the restaurant and its 5:30 and those things are still trying to KILL ME. You need to send something, anything!"_

_Wildcat rocked back and forth in one of the bathroom stalls. He almost jumped as he listened to the animatronics pass the bathrooms._

"This is horse shit. I could be home in bed, but NO! I had to take a shitty job that pays me minimum wage!" Wildcat said.

_Wildcats phone vibrated. He checked the message Jeremy sent him._

"_Tyler, I'm deeply am sorry for the situation you're in. I wish I could help, but those things would rip us both in half. However, if you can rush to the office as fast as you can and get the mask, you can fool them. Foxy, however, won't be easy. Might have to flash a light at him. Then again, if you were hiding, your flashlight would be dead. If you can get the batteries out of the fan, you could use them. This is all I have to say. See you… in the morning. If you live."_

_Wildcat checked the time. 5:40._

"Okay, only a couple of minutes left. I need to run as fast as I can to the office." Wildcat said as he peeked out of the bathroom.

_Looking around, he saw old Chica and old Bonnie stepping back into the Parts/Service room. To his left, he saw old Freddy walking into the stage room._

"Okay, it's show time!" Wildcat yelled as he ran out of the bathroom and into the office.

_Quickly, Wildcat took the batteries out of the fan and placed them into the flashlight. He placed the mask on and began flashing the hallway. He was lucky, cause Foxy had saw him run into the office. Old Freddy walked into the office, seeing the Freddy look alike. Old Freddy walked out. Wildcat watched as Foxy followed behind, and into the Parts/Service room they went._

_Ding, ding, dong. Ding, ding, dong._

_Wildcat smiled as the clock hit 6:00. He cried as he fell to the floor._

"I… I did it. I survived the 3rd night… I can't fucking believe it." Wildcat mumbled.

_Getting up, Wildcat walked into the stage room. The door, the door to his freedom was right in front of him. Looking back, he saw the Parts/Service room open slightly. Wildcat walked out into the daylight, awaiting his 4__th__ night in hell._

**They said I was dead. I wasn't… I was here. Don't worry; this story will get much better. Thanks for reading. See you on the flip side.**


End file.
